Friday Funny: The TIGER Grant
Here’s a poem I wrote to entertain you this Friday, with apologies to William Blake. I dedicate this to our readers working in cities and other government agencies, especially those who, like myself, spent many hours over the last several months applying for a TIGER Grant. (If you don’t know what that stands for, it’s in the poem.) I know the Broward MPO was applying for the grant. Was anyone else? Chime in.
BTW, for those who didn’t know, I am now working as a Civil Engineer at the County of Kauai. I may be far away in Hawaii now, but I am still rooting for Miami to be a more livable place! I also still have some consulting projects as well as family in the area, so I am no stranger.
OK, the poem:
The TIGER Grant
TIGER, TIGER, burning bright—
In the office late at night,
What mere mortal dares to try
Frame their town for critic’s eye?
Transportation modes abound:
Rail turns the traffic ’round;
Cycle tracks are quite like crack.
Will the NIMBY’s send us flak?
Put Investment over here!
We’re dead with none, so we fear.
Which one’s finer? Cycle lanes?
Sidewalks? Port container cranes?
Generating concept plans,
Costs, and graphics (Comic Sans?).
Is the sum within our grasp?
Will some other get to clasp?
Economic benefits?
Those things may just give me fits.
I water’d Hades with my tears!
As each day the deadline nears.
Sweet Recovery—sleep all night?
When it’s finished we might fight.
TIGER, TIGER, burning bright!
We must win or suffer blight.
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Great poem which certainly applies to the traffic mobility, gridlock, long commute times, increased toll rates, additional tolls recently installed on the public roadways, a poor transit system, a lack of public safety on the roadways for the motorists, pedestrians and bicyclists, with NO long range viable solutions in sight ( we certainly do not need any additional costly traffic engineering studies conducted nor additional TOLLED EXPRESS TRAVEL LANES installed on the roadways) which are currently being experienced in Miami Dade and other parts of the state as well.
Perhaps in another 20 years our public roadways will be under water due to sea level rise primarily caused by the emmissions of the vehicles, and we will then be commuting by boats or by flying vehicles.